All The Small Things
The Nightmare Before Christmas
A Mighty Wind and other Guests
Under A Microscope
Pictures Of Me
More Pictures
Christmas Pics 2001
QC Theatre or GODSPELL
Quotable Quotes
My Writings And Rants
My Resume
The Many Faces
Out Fit - A Play
Other One Acts
The Rocky Horror Show
By Jeeves
You're A Good Man, Charlie Brown!
The Nightmare Before Christmas
Sunday In The Park With George
Star Trek CCG
Get In Touch

When Tim Burton, Danny Elfman and clay collide.



This is Halloween
Jack's Lament
What's This
The Town Meeting Song
Jack's Obsession
The Scheme Song
Making Christmas
Sally's Song
Oogie Boogie's Song
Poor Jack

It was a long time ago
Longer now than it seems
In a place that perhaps you've seen in your dreams
For the story that you are about to be told
Began with the holiday worlds of old
Now you've probably wondered where holidays come from
And if you haven't... I'd say it's time you begun...

For the holidays are the result of much fuss
and hard work for the worlds that create them for us
Well you see now quite simply that's all that they do,
making one unique holiday especially for you.
But once a calamity ever so great
occurred when two holidays met by mistake...

This Is Halloween

SHADOW: Boys and girls of every age
Wouldn't you like to see something strange?

SIAMESE SHADOW: Come with us and you will see...
This our town of Halloween!

PUMPKIN PATCH: This is Halloween, this is Halloween!
Pumpkins scream in the dead of night-

GHOSTS: This is Halloween, everybody make a scene
Trick or treat 'til the neighbors gonna die of fright
It's our town. Everybody scream- in this town of Halloween...

CREATURE: I am the one hiding under your bed, teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red.

MAN UNDER STAIRS: I am the one hiding under your stairs, fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair.

CORPSES: This is Halloween, This is Halloween

VAMPIRES: Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween...
In this town, we call home, Everyone hail to the Pumpkin Song!

MAYOR: In this town, don't we love it now, Everybody's waiting for the next surprise.

CORPSES: 'Round that corner men, Hiding in the trashcan- Something's waiting now to pounce and how you'll-

TRIO: -Scream! This is Halloween! Red'n'black, slimy green!

WEREWOLF: Aren't you scared?

WITCHES: Well, thats just fine! Say it once, say it twice!
Take the chance and roll the dice- ride with the moon in the dead of night!

HANGING TREE: Everybody scream, everybody scream!

HANGED MEN: In our town of Halloween!

CLOWN: I am the guy with the tearaway face- here in a flash and gone without a trace!

GHOUL: I am the WHO when you call "Who's there?"
I am the wind blowing through your hair.

OOGIE BOOGIE: I am the shadow on the moon at night,
Filling your dreams to the brim with fright.

CORPSES: This is Halloween, This is Halloween! Halloween Halloween! Halloween Halloween!

CHILD TRIO: Tender Lumplings everywhere- life's no fun without a good scare!

PARENTS: Thats our job, but we're not mean- in our town of Halloween!

CORPSES: In this town-

MAYOR: - Don't we love it now?

ALL: Everyone's waiting for the next surprise.
Skeleton Jack might catch you in the back and scream like a banshee make you jump out of your SKIN! This is Halloween, everybody scream!

CRETIN: Won't ya please make way for a very special guy...

CORPSES: Our man Jack is King of the Pumpkin Patch- Everyone hail to the Pumpkin King now!

ALL: This is Halloween, THIS IS HALLOWEEN! Halloween Halloween Halloween Halloween!

CHILD TRIO: In this place we call home- Everyone hail to the Pumpkin Song!



There are few who'd deny, at what I do I am the best
For my talents are renowned far and wide
When it comes to surprises in the moonlit night,
I excel without ever even trying.
With the slightest little effort of my ghostlike charms
I have seen grown men give out a shreik
With the wave of my hand, and a well-placed moan
I have swept the very bravest off their feet.
Yet year after year, its all the same routine
And I grow so weary of the sound of screams
And I, Jack, The Pumpkin King!
Have grown so tired of the same old thing...
Oh, somewhere deep inside of these bones
An emptiness began to grow
There's something out there far from my home
A longing that I've never known...
I'm a master of fright, and a demon of light
And I'll scare you right out of your pants...
To a guy in Kentucky- I'm Mr.Unlucky and I'm known throughout England and France.
And since I am dead, I can take off my head
And recite Shakespearean quotations...
No animal or man can scream like I can
With the fury of my recitations.
But who here would ever understand that the Pumpkin King with the skeleton grin
Would tire of his crown... if they only understood...
He would give it all up if he only could.
Oh there's an empty place in my bones
That calls out for something unknown
The fame and praise, come year after year,
does nothing for these empty tears...


JACK: What's this? What's this?
There's color everywhere! What's this?
There're white things in the air! What's this?
I can't believe my eyes I must be dreaming,
Wake up, Jack, this isn't fair- What's this?

What's this? What's this?
There's something very wrong... What's this?
They're people singing songs... What's this?

The streets are lined with little creatures laughing,
Everybody seems so happy, Have I possibly gone daffy?
What is this!?... What's this?

They're children throwing snowballs
Instead of throwing heads.
They're busy building toys and absolutely no one's dead!
There's frost on every window,
Oh I can't beleive my eyes,
And in my bones I feel a warmth
That's coming from inside...
Oh, look, what's this?
They're hanging missletoe... They kiss-
Why that looks so unique... Inspired!
They're gathering around to hear a story
Roasting chestnuts on a fire... What's this?

What's this? In here
They've got a little tree... how queer!
And who would ever think... and why?
They're covering it with tiny little things, they've got
Electric lights on strings and there's a smile on
Everyone, so now correct me if I'm wrong
This looks like fun!
This looks like fun!
Oh could it be I got my wish? What's this!?

Oh my, what now?
The children are asleep... but look-
There's nothing underneath... no ghouls
No witches here to scream and scare them or ensnare them
Only cozy little things secure inside their dreamland... What's this?

The monsters are all missing and the nightmares can't be found
And in their place there seems to be good feeling all around...
Instead of screams I swear I can hear music in the air.
The smell of cakes and pies are absolutely everywhere!
The sights, the sounds, they're everywhere and all around...
I've never felt so good before, the empty place inside of me is filling up I simply cannot get enough!
I want it, oh, I want it- Oh I want it for my own!
I've got to know I've got to know
What is this place I've found?



The Town Meeting Song

JACK: There were objects so peculiar
They were not to be believed
All around things to tantalize my brain.
It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen
And as hard as I try... I can't seem to describe
Like a most improbable dream.
But you must believe when I tell you this
It's as real as my skull and it does exist!

Here... let me show you.

This is a thing called a present.
The whole thing starts with a box...

DEVIL: A box?
WEREWOLF: Is it steel?
DEMON: Are there locks?
DEVIL: Is it filled with a pox?
DEMON: A pox!
DEVIL: How delightful, a pox.

JACK: If you please!
Just a box with bright colored paper
And the whole thing's topped with a bow

WITCH 1: A bow?
WITCH 2: But why? How ugly!
WITCH 1: What's in it?
WITCH 2: What's in it?

JACK: Thats the point of the thing, not to know!

CLOWN: It's a bat!
CREATURE: Will it bend?
CLOWN: It's a rat!
CREATURE: Will it break?
LAGOON GAL: Perhaps it's the head that I found in the lake.

JACK: Listen now, you don't understand.
That's not the point of Christmasland.
Now pay attention...
Now we pick up an oversized sock
And hang it like this on the wall.

MR.HYDE: Oh yes! Does it still have a foot?
MINI-HYDE: Let me see!
MR.HYDE: Let me look...
MINI-MINI-HYDE: Is it rotted and covered with gook?

JACK: Let me explain.
There's no foot inside, but there's candy.
And sometimes its filled with small toys...

MUMMY: Small toys!
DEMON: Do they bite?
CORPSE: Do they snap?
MUMMY: Or explode in a fright?
DEMON: Or perhaps they just spring out and scare girls and boys.

MAYOR: What a splendid idea- this Christmas sounds fun!
Why I fully endorse it! Let's try it at once!

JACK: Everyone please, now not so fast!
There's something here that you don't quite grasp.
(Well, I may as well give them what they want)
And the best, I must confess, I have saved for the last
For the ruler of this Christmasland...
Is a fearsome king with a deep mighty voice
Least, that is what I've come to understand.
And I've also heard it told
That he's something to behold
Like a lobster, huge and red...
And sets out to slay with his raingear on,
Carting bulging sacks with his big great arms-
That is, so I've heard it said.
And on a dark, cold night
Under full moonlight
He flies off into a fog like a vulture in the sky...
And they call him SANDY CLAWS!

CROWD: Oooooh!

JACK: (to himself) Well, at least they're excited...
But they don't understand that special kind of feeling
in Christmasland...


Christmastime is buzzing in my skull.
Will it let me be? I cannot tell.
There're so many things I cannot grasp...
When I think I've got it, then at last
Through my bony fingers it does slip
Like a snowflake in a feiry grip.

Something's here I'm not quite getting
Though I try, I keep forgetting
Like a memory long since past
Here in an instant, gone in a flash...
What does it mean? What does it mean?

In these little bric-a-brac.
A secret waiting to be cracked.
These dolls and toys confuse me so.
Confound it all- I love it, though!

Simple objects nothing more
But something's hidden through the door.
Though I do not have the key,
something's there I cannot see.
What does it mean? What does it mean?

I've read these Christmas books so many times
I know the stories and I know the rhymes
I know the Christmas carols all by heart...
My skull's so full, its tearing me apart.
As often as I read them, something's wrong...
So hard to put my bony finger on...

Or perhaps it's really not as deep as I've been led to think.
Am I trying much too hard?
Of course! I've been too close to see!
The answer's right in front of me!

It's simple really, very clear-
Like music drifting in the air
Invisible but everywhere
Just because I cannot see it
Doesn't mean I can't believe it!

You know I think this Christmas thing-
Its not as tricky as it seems!
And why should they have all the fun?
It should belong to anyone!
Not anyone, in fact, but me!
Why, I could make a Christmas tree.
And there's no reason I can find
that I couldn't handle Christmastime!

I bet I could improve it too!
And that's exactly what I'll do!


The Scheme Song

LOCK, SHOCK AND BARREL: Kidnap Mr.Sandy Claws?
LOCK: I wanna do it...
BARREL: Let's draw straws...
SHOCK: Jack said we should work together. Three of a kind-
ALL 3: Bird of a feather! Now and forever! Weee!
Kidnap the Sandy Claws, lock him up real tight
Throw away the keys and then turn off all the lights.

LOCK: First we're going to set some bait
Inside a nasty trap and wait.
SHOCK: When he comes a-sniffing we will
Snap the trap and close the gate!
LOCK: Wait! I've got a better plan to catch this big red lobster man.
Let's pop him in a boiling pot and when he's done we'll butter him up!

ALL 3: Kidnap the Sandy Claws, throw him in a box
Bury him for ninety years and then see if he talks.
SHOCK: Then Mr.Oogie Boogie Man can take the whole thing over then.
He'll be so pleased I do declare that he will cook him rare... Weee!

LOCK: I say that we take a cannon
Aim it at his door and then
Knock three times and when he answers
Sandy Claws will be no more.

SHOCK: You're so stupid- think now!
If we blow him up to smithereens,
we may lose some peices and then
Jack will beat us black and green!

ALL 3: Kidnap the Sandy Claws, tie him in a bag
Throw him in the ocean and then see if he is sad.

LOCK AND SHOCK: Because Mr.Oogie Boogie is the meanest guy around, If I were on his Boogie list, I'd get out of town!
BARREL: He'll be so pleased by our success that he'll reward us too I'll bet!
Perhaps he'll make his special brew of snake and spider stew...
ALL 3: Mmmmm!
LOCK: We're his little henchmen and-
BARREL: We take our job with pride. We do our best to please him and stay on his good side.
SHOCK: I wish my cohorts weren't so dumb...
BARREL: I'm not the dumb one...
LOCK: You're no fun!
SHOCK: Shut up!
LOCK: Make me!
SHOCK: I've got something, listen now, this one is real good, you'll see.
We'll send a present to his door upon there'll be a note to read.
Now in the box, we'll wait and hide until his curiosity entices him to look inside...
BARREL: And then we'll have him, one two three!

ALL 3: Kidnap the Sandy Claws, beat him with a stick...
Lock him up for ninety years and see what makes him tick.
Kidnap the Sandy Claws, tie him in a knot
Put him in a coffin, how we'd like to see him rot.
Kidnap the Sandy Claws- chop him into bits!
Mr.Oogie Boogie is sure to get his kicks.
Kidnap the Sandy Claws- see what we will see.
Lock him in a cage and then throw away the key!


MAYOR: Making Christmas, making Christmas is so fine
CLOWN: It's ours this time
MAYOR: And won't the children be surprised
GROUP: It's ours this time

CORPSE: Making Christmas
MUMMY: Making Christmas
BOTH: Making Christmas

WITCHES: Time to give them something fun
WITCHES AND LAGOON GAL: They'll talk about for years to come.
MAYOR: Let's have a cheer from everyone!
GROUP: It's time to party
DUCK TOY: Making Christmas, Making Christmas

VAMPIRES: Snakes and mice...get wrapped up so nice
With spider legs... and pretty bows.
VAMPIRES AND DEMON: It's ours this time
CORPSE FATHER: All together, that and this...
CORPSE FATHER AND WEREWOLF: With all our tricks we're...
TRIO: Making Christmastime!

WEREWOLF: Here comes Jack!

JACK: I don't believe what's happening to me- My hopes, my dreams- my fantasies!
DEMON: Won't they be impressed, I am a genius
See how I transformed this old rat into a most delightful hat.
JACK: My compliments from me to you on this most intriguing hat
Consider, though, this substitute- a bat in place of this old rat.
NO,NO,NO- now that's all wrong! This thing will never make a present. It's been dead now for much too long.
Try something fresher, something pleasant!
Try again! Don't give up!

MR.HYDE'S: All together, that and this
With all our tricks we're making Christmastime!
MAN UNDER STAIRS: Christmas presents really are the biggest thrill
Inside each box a mystery
A million ways to fill this thing- and then I think I've done the best
BEHEMOTH: And each is prettier than the next. Making Christmas...
CREATURES AND BEHEMOTH (alternating): Making Christmas
Making Christmas, Making Christmas
Making Christmas, Making Christmas
SEVERED HEAD: It's a real neat thing!

GROUP: Making Christmas, Making Christmas Lalalala
It's almost here
GROUP AND WEREWOLF: And we can't wait!
GROUP AND DEMON: So ring the bells and celebrate
GROUP: 'Cause when the full moon starts to climb
We'll all sing out...
JACK: It's Christmastime!



I sense there's something in the wind
That feels like tragedy's at hand
And though I'd like to stand by him,
can't shake this feeling that I have
The worst is just around the bend.

And does he notice my feelings for him?
And will he see how much he means to me?
I think its not to be.

What will become of my dear friend?
Where will his actions lead us then?
Although I'd like to join the crowd
In their enthusiastic cloud,
Try as I may, it doesn't last.

And will we ever end up together?
No, I think not. It's never to become...
For I am not the one...



OOGIE BOOGIE: Well, well, Well- what have we here?
Sandy Claws, huh? Ooh- I'm really scared.
So you're the one everybody's talkin' about. Ha ha.
You're jokin'- you're jokin'! I can't believe my eyes
You're jokin'- you gotta be! This can't be the right guy!
He's ancient, he's ugly- I don't know which is worse.
I might just split a seam now if I don't die laughing first!
When Mr.Oogie Boogie says there's trouble close at hand
You'd better pay attention now 'cause I'm the Boogie Man!
And if you aren't shakin' then there's something very wrong
'Cause this may be the last time that you hear the Boogie song!

BATS AND LIZARDS: Ooooh! Oooooh! Oooooh!
OOGIE BOOGIE: I'm the Oogie Boogie Man!
Well if I'm feelin; antsy and I've nothin' much to do
I might just cook a special batch of snake and spider stew
And don't ya know the one thing that would make it work so nice?
A roly-poly Sandy Claws to add a little spice!
Ooohhh! Whoa yea! Whoa!

SKELETONS, BATS, OOGIE BOOGIE: Ooohhh! Oh yeah! Ooohhh!
He's the Oogie Boogie Man!

SANTA: Release me now or you must face the dire consequences
The children are expecting me so please come to your senses.

OOGIE BOOGIE: You're jokin! You're jokin! I can't believe my ears. Would someone shut this fella up
I'm drownin in my tears.
It's funny, I'm laughin'- You really are too much!
And now, with your permission, I'm going to do my stuff.
SANTA: What are you going to do?
OOGIE BOOGIE: I'm gonna do the best I can... (Dances)
The sound of rollin' dice to me is music in the air
'Cause I'm a gamblin Boogie Man, although I don't play fair
It's much more fun, I must confess, when lives are on the line.
Not mine, of course, but yours, old boy, now that'd be just fine.
SANTA: Release me fast or you will have to answer for this heinous act.
OOGIE BOOGIE: Oh brother, you're something- You put me in a spin...
You aren't comprehending the position that you're in.
It's hopeless, you're finished you haven't got a prayer...
'Cause I'm Mr.Oogie Boogie and you ain't going nowhere...


What have I done? What have I done?
How could I be so blind?
All is lost... where was I?
Spoiled all... Spoiled all!
Everything's gone all wrong!

What have I done? What have I done?
Find a deep cave to hide in.
In a million years they'll find me... Only dust.
And a plaque. That reads Here Lies

But I never intended all this madness- Never!
And nobody really understood... well how could they?
That all I ever wanted was to bring them something great!
Why does nothing ever turn out like it should?
Well- What The Heck! I went and did my best!
And by God I really tasted something swell!
For a moment, why, I even touched the sky!
And at least I left some stories they can tell- I did!

And for the first time since, I can't remember when
I felt just like my old bony self again
And I, Jack, The Pumpkin King!
That's right! I am the Pumpkin King! HA!
And I just can't wait until next Halloween


La la la la la
Jack's OK and he's back OK

He's all right

Let's shout, make a fuss
Scream it out, wheee

Jack is back now, everyone sing
In our town of Halloween

What's this?

What's this?

I haven't got a clue

What's this?

Why its completely new!

What's this?

Must be a Christmas thing

What's this?

It's really very strange

This is Halloween
Halloween! Halloween! Halloween!
What's this! What's this?
What's this! What's this?
What's this? What's this!

My dearest friend, if you don't mind.
I'd like to join you by your side
Where we can gaze into the stars.

And sit together, now and forever
For it is plain as anyone can see
We're simply meant to be.


And finally everything worked out just fine
Christmas was saved- though there wasn't much time.
But after that night things were never the same
Each holiday now knew the other ones name.
And though that one Christmas things got out of hand
I'm still rather fond of that skeleton man.

So many years later I thought I'd drop in
And there was old Jack still looking quite thin
With four or five skeleton children at hand
Playing strange little tunes in thier xylophone band.
And I asked old Jack, "Do you remember the night when the
sky was so dark and the moon shone so bright- when a
million small children pretending to sleep nearly didn't
have Christmas at all, so to speak.

And would if you could turn that mighty clock back
to that long fateful night
Now, thing carefully Jack! Would you do the whole thing all over again
Knowing what you know now, Knowing what you knew then?"
And he smiled like the old Pumpkin King that I knew
then he turned and asked softly of me, "Wouldn't you?"