SONGLIST
Hold Me, Bat Boy Christian Charity Ugly Boy Whatcha Wanna Do? A Home For You Another Dead Cow Dance
With Me, Darling Mrs. Taylor's Lullaby Show You A Thing Or Two Christian Charity (Reprise) A Home For
You (Reprise) Comfort And Joy A Joyful Noise Let Me Walk Among You/Joyful Noise (Reprise) Three
Bedroom House Children, Children Inside Your Heart Apology To A Cow Finale: I Imagine You're Upset/I Am
Not A Boy Hold Me, Bat Boy (Reprise)
HOLD ME, BAT BOY
MAN#1: In a cave many miles to the south
Lives a boy born with fangs in his mouth.
Sleeping until the fading light,
Flying through bloody dreams;
When he awakes the summer night is filled with screams.
WOMEN: You have heard he was born in the bogs.
That he feeds on the flies and the frogs.
MAN #2: You call him "Beast" or "Changeling";
MAN #3: Or "Demon Chimpanzee";
MAN #4: But we will prove he's no such thing:
ALL: He's much like me! And me!
Oh, hold me, Bat Boy! Touch me, Bat Boy!
Help me through the night.
Love me, Bat Boy! Save me, Bat Boy!
Make it all turn out all right!
MAN #2: He was dragged from his home and thrown down
At the edge of a coal mining town.
MAN #5: They stripped him of his dignity,
MAN #1: They beat him like a gong.
MAN #3: And he was kicked repeatedly,
ALL: And that was wrong! So wrong!
Oh Hold the Bat Boy-
WOMAN: Won't you hold him!
ALL: Touch the Bat Boy-
WOMAN: Won't you touch him!
ALL: Bring him to the light!
WOMAN: Bring him to the light!
ALL: Love the Bat Boy-
WOMAN: Won't you love him!
ALL: Save the Bat Boy-
WOMAN: Somebody save him!
ALL: Make it all turn out all right!
Would no one defend him, protect him, befriend him,
would none hear his cry?
WOMAN: Yeah, would none hear his cry, y'all?
ALL: Or would they detest him, arrest him, molest him?
WOMAN #4: Or just let him die?
ALL: You can't just stand by.
MAN #5: He has suffered and now it's your turn.
You are here not to laugh; but to learn.
WOMAN #4: Listen to his ungodly shriek,
Watch what they put him through.
MEN: Heed the tale of a filthy freak-
ALL: Who's just like you! And you! And you! Ohhh!
Hold me Bat Boy (Hold me Bat Boy)
Touch me Bat Boy (Touch me Bat Boy)
Won't you help me through the night
Make it all turn out all right! (Make it all turn out all right!)
Love me Bat Boy (Love me Bat Boy)
Save me Bat Boy (Save me Bat Boy)
I've been calling out your name
Come and take away my shame! (Come and take away my shame!)
Hold me Bat Boy (Hold me Bat Boy)
Touch me Bat Boy (Touch me Bat Boy)
You hear me cry when no one hears,
Won't you lick away my tears!
Love me Bat Boy (Love me Bat Boy)
Save me Bat Boy (Save me Bat Boy)
Sink your fangs into my soul
Only you can make me whole!
Hold me Bat Boy
Touch me Bat Boy
Hold me in your arms tonight!
CHRISTIAN CHARITY
(Bat Boy is shreiking)
SHERIFF: Evening folks!
SHELLEY: Whatcha got?
SHERIFF: Doctor home?
MEREDITH: No, he's not.
SHERIFF: Wen's he back?
MEREDITH: An hour or so.
SHELLEY: The heck is that?
SHERIFF: Well, I don't know.
MEREDITH: What in the world?
SHELLEY: Where did you find?
MEREDITH: What is he doing?
SHELLEY: He's out of his mind!
MEREDITH: Is he in pain?
SHELLEY: Is he insane?
SHERIFF: Maybe and possibly, let me explain.
(Sheriff knocks Bat Boy down with his pistol.)
MEREDITH AND SHELLEY: No!
SHERIFF: Aw, heck. Maybe I shouldn'tve done that.
But that boy was hoppin' like a scalded dog.
MEREDITH: Boy?
SHERIFF: Maybe. Frankly, that's why I'm here.
I figure maybe we need a veterinarian to sort this out.
I'm hoping Dr.Parker will know what to do.
I didn't know where else to take him...
SHELLEY: Mom!
MEREDITH: Shelley, quiet!
SHERIFF: Can't go to jail, he's underage.
SHELLEY: Mom!
MEREDITH: Shelley, quiet!
SHERIFF: Folks up at the Med School, bet they'd carve him up or bake him.
I'd send the FBI a page, but I don't think we're at that stage-
So, here he is folks, he's all yours.
Couldn't leave him out of doors, creepin' on all fours.
We could always shoot him but that don't seem right to me.
'N I can't rid myself o' my Christian Charity.
SHELLEY: Can we see him?
MEREDITH: Shelley- get away!
SHERIFF: You listen to your mother, Shelley.
You don't want to be near if it wakes up.
It bit one of the Taylor kids.
MEREDITH: Shelley, don't stare- Shelley, don't poke.
What is this, sheriff, some kind of sick joke?
SHELLEY: Mom, he's so gross! Mom, can he stay?
SHERIFF: Shel, I was hopin' you'd see it that way.
I'm comin' up for re-election.
SHELLEY: Mom!
MEREDITH: Shelley, quiet!
SHERIFF: I gotta bring this thing to heel.
SHELLEY: Mom!
MEREDITH: Shelley, quiet!
SHERIFF: A boy with his complextion's gonna meet with some objections,
'N I think I know how folks will feel once they hear this "Bat Child" is for real.
SHELLEY: It's a bat child? MOM! We gotta keep it!
MEREDITH: All right, sheriff. Dr. Parker has some cages. I'll take care of the boy for you.
SHERIFF: Ah, that's great, Meredith. I can't thank you enough for the favor.
And if he turns into a pain, call me, I've got stun guns and a chain.
SHELLEY: WHOA!
MEREDITH: OH!
SHERIFF: (overlapping) So here he is folks, he's all yours.
I couldn't leave him out of doors, creeping on all fours.
We may have to put him down-
MEREDITH: (overlapping) Don't stare, Shelley- please don't poke.
Don't touch him, Shelley, don't provoke.
SHELLEY: (overlapping) Mom! Look at him! I know but Mom...
Look at him! What's wrong with him?
ALL: For now we'll wait and see!
SHERIFF AND MEREDITH: We can't rid ourselves of our Christian Charity.
SHERIFF: (overlapping) So, here he is folks, he's all yours.
Couldn't leave him out of doors, creeping on all fours.
Those thunderclouds are closing in-
MEREDITH: (overlapping) Don't stare, Shelley, please don't poke.
Don't touch him, Shelley, don't provoke!
SHELLEY: (overlapping) MOOOOOOOOOOMMM!
MOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!
ALL: We can't just let him be.
We can't rid ourselves of our Christian Charity.
We can't rid ourselves of our Christian Charity.
SHELLEY: Mom!
MEREDITH: Shelley, quiet!
UGLY BOY
(Bat Boy is shrieking) SHELLEY: Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! shutupshutupshutupshutup! Such an ugly boy...
MEREDITH: He's just different. SHELLEY: Like a stinky bony rat. MEREDITH: Well, you wanted to
keep him. SHELLEY: I didn't know he'd look like that! MEREDITH: Shelley! SHELLEY: Well, look at
him! (Thunder clap) MEREDITH: Oh my, its going to be quite a storm. SHELLEY: Stupid starving freak.
MEREDITH: Shelley, that's not nice. SHELLEY: Doesn't have the sense to eat. MEREDITH: We just haven't
figured out what he needs. SHELLEY: Dropping dead right at my feet. MEREDITH: Shelley! SHELLEY:
Just look at him... MEREDITH: He's just... tired. SHELLEY: That's my mom. See, she cries ev'ry time a stray
dog dies. MEREDITH: Well, I feel bad for them. SHELLEY: No one calls. MEREDITH: Sure they call... SHELLEY:
No one claims. MEREDITH: Sometimes... SHELLEY: So we put them down and never learn their names... MEREDITH:
Well, we can name him, sweetheart. What would you like to call him? SHELLEY: BAT BOY. MEREDITH: Or maybe...
Edgar. (calls to him) Ed-gar! BATBOY- (looks at her) Gggnnnnnnwwgwooo? MEREDITH: Look! He likes that name!
Edgar it is! SHELLEY: Such an ugly boy. MEREDITH: I'll try to make him something to eat. SHELLEY:
Guess we can't just turn him loose. MEREDITH: Stay away from the cage. SHELLEY: I'm afraid he'll reproduce.
A HOME FOR YOU
MEREDITH: Poor little person with eyes so sad, where in the dark did they hide you? What have you seen that could teach
you that haunted stare? Poor little creature, it makes me mad, to think of the childhood denied you, but give me a chance
and we'll make it all right, I swear. 'Cause we're not here to harm you or make you feel ashamed. You can make
mistakes here and you won't be blamed. So show us how to help you, and if we pull you through, then we will find
a home for you. Home is a word that you should have learned. Home is where people accept you. People who treat
you with love, which is awfully rare. Family's a place where your trust is earned by folks who are happy they kept you.
We'll find a family who won't let you down, I swear. 'Cause we're not here to harm you, or- BAT BOY: Oo Oo
Oo Oo Oooo MEREDITH: Oo oo Oo oo Oo oo? BAT BOY: Oo oo oo oo ooO. BOTH: Oo Ooo OOO ooo Ooo ooOoo-
Ooo oooO MEREDITH: No, we're not here to harm you and make you feel ashamed, You can make mistakes here and you
won't be blamed! So teach us how to love you, and once the night is through, then we have have a home for you. So
show me what to give you, see, look- I made a stew. And somehow if you make it through, then this might be a home for
you. BAT BOY: Oo oo Oo Oo oo!
MRS. TAYLOR'S LULLABY
RUTHIE: Monster! Monster! MRS.TAYLOR: Hush, baby. RUTHIE: Bat monster! Bat monster! Bat monster! MRS. TAYLOR:
Sleep little Ruthie baby no one's gonna hurt you, Sheriff's gonna have that little freak destroyed, Or if he's a coward
and he won't protect my children, mama's gonna get the sheriff unemployed. Sleep little Ruthie baby don't you fear
no Bat Boy, Mama's gonna hunt him down and bring him here. Then you can skin him and wear him as a jacket, and
we'll string a necklace with a dried bat ear.
SHOW YOU A THING OR TWO
MEREDITH: You are such a smart boy!
We'll turn you into a proper young man in no time.
Here is a cat...
BAT BOY: Hee ba za cat.
MEREDITH: There is a goose.
BAT BOY: Zi ba za goose.
MEREDITH: This is a rat.
BAT BOY: Zi bi za wat.
MEREDITH: And that is a moose.
BAT BOY: Ba ba ba ba boose.
MEREDITH: The cat crept up behind the goose but then away it flew.
BAT BOY: Flu
MEREDITH: The rat was jealous of a moose who loved a kangaroo.
BAT BOY: Ru.
MEREDITH: The cat and rat gave up and found a flat in Timbuktu.
BAT BOY: Tu.
MEREDITH: And now-
BAT BOY: And now-
MEREDITH: Review-
BAT BOY: Review-
MEREDITH: We read the whole way through!
BAT BOY: Caa, goose, Raa, moose, Kangaroow, tibuktoow!
MEREDITH: Understand?
BAT BOY: Yes I do!
MEREDITH: Good for you!
I'll show you a thing or two
BAT BOY: Two.
MEREDITH: I'll teach you to name it.
BAT BOY: Nane it.
MEREDITH: Sure its tough but you'll tame it.
BAT BOY: Tane it. (chews book)
MEREDITH: You'll soon complete it and- wait, don't eat it.
BAT BOY: Oh.
MEREDITH: I'll show you the way its done, then I'll leave it to you.
And whaddaya know, you may show me a thing or two.
SHELLEY: Hi Mom!
MEREDITH: Hello, Shelley. How was school, dear?
SHELLEY: It was great! How's Bat Boy doing today?
MEREDITH: Edgar is coming along nicely. We were just watching Masterpeice Theatre on PBS.
SHELLEY: How do you do?
BAT BOY: How do you do?
SHELLEY: Lovely, and you?
BAT BOY: Lovely, and you?
SHELLEY: Won't you sit down?
BAT BOY: Won't you sit down?
SHELLEY: Don't mind if I do.
BAT BOY: Don't mind if I do.
SHELLEY: The weather would be perfect if it weren't quite so hot.
BAT BOY: Hot.
MEREDITH: I fear we're out of sandwiches, that butler should be shot.
BAT BOY: Shot.
SHELLEY/MEREDITH: But won't you stay the night we're having dinner on the yacht!
BAT BOY: Yacht?
MEREDITH: Now ready-
BAT BOY: What?
MEREDITH: Or not,
BAT BOT: Not!
MEREDITH: Show me what you've got.
BAT BOY: Bow deep, kiss hand, pull chair, look bland.
Pour the tea, pass the jam
MEREDITH: Are we clear?
BAT BOY: Yes, ma'am!
(Bat Boy spills the tea and all dishes go flying. He panics.
Meredith calms him.)
MEREDITH: I'll show you a thing or two. Don't cry, it's okay, dear.
Rome's not built in a day, dear.
BAT BOY: Hah?
MEREDITH: A bit more schooling, a lot less drooling.
MEREDITH/SHELLEY: Easy does it, that's how its done.
Soon you'll pick up your cue,
Then whaddaya know, you may show us a thing or two!
DR.PARKER: Honey, I'm home!
SHELLEY: Hi, Daddy! How was work?
DR.PARKER: Great! How is Edgar coming along?
MEREDITH: This week's been a little rocky, dear.
SHELLEY: We're trying flash cards.
BAT BOY: Champs-Elysees?
MEREDITH: Parthenon.
BAT BOY: Great White Way?
SHELLEY: Everglades.
BAT BOY: Berlin Wall?
DR.PARKER: Autobahn.
BAT BOY: Carnegie Hall?
MEREDITH: Ice Capades.
BAT BOY: Pentagon?
SHELLEY: Golden Gate.
BAT BOY: Amazon?
DR.PARKER: Rio Grande.
BAT BOY: Taj Majal!
SHELLEY: Empire State.
BAT BOY: Wailing Wall?
MEREDITH: Disneyland.
(Bat Boy whines in defeat)
DR.PARKER: Perhaps I should have a word with the boy. Let me talk to him over here for a moment!
I'll show you a thing or two. Sure, kid, you feel weary.
Head's all fuzzy and bleary.
I know you're leery. But here's my theory.
Keep sluggin'- that's how it's done.
Soon you're bound to break through!
And whaddaya know, you may-
BAT BOY: Wait a minute!
DR.PARKER/MEREDITH: Whaddaya know, you may-
BAT BOY: I think I've got it!
DR.PARKER/MEREDITH/SHELLEY: Whaddaya know, you may-
BAT BOY: Eureka!
DR.PARKER/MEREDITH/SHELLEY: Show me!
BAT BOY: Brooklyn Bridge, Lenin's Tomb, Watergate, Rainbow Room!
Ruby Ridge, Liberty Bell, Bering Strait, Bates Motel!
Spartacus, Fargo, And Anchors Aweigh!
Love Story, Key Largo, Remains Of The Day!
Puccini, Otello, Bellini, Wayne Shorter and Elvis Costello!
SHELLEY: Mom, Edgar just finished his essay for his high school equivalency exam!
BAT BOY: I will discuss Copernicus who ruined all our fun,
And showed we're just a ball of dust that limps around the sun.
Which brings me then to Darwin, when he bent us out of shape
As he began to prove that man is nephew to an ape.
We were annoyed when Doctor Freud declared it's not a soul,
It is your blind subconsious mind that's always in control.
But I submit that any twit if he had eyes to see,
Can seize his fate; self-educate; and turn out just like me!
(All Cheer)
ALL: Shirts, shoes, pants, vest.
Can't go out there underdressed.
Collar pressed, look your best.
And won't they be impressed! 'Cause:
I'll/He'll show 'em a thing or two!
I was dirty and rowdy (rowdy)
Even dressed a bit dowdy (dowdy)
But now say:
OTHERS: Howdy!
ALL: To a summa cum laude!
I'll/He'll show 'em the way it's done!
But no applause I'm/He's not through!
BAT BOY: I'm gonna Vince Van Gogh'em
ALL: And Henry Thoreau'em
BAT BOY: And Plato-
ALL: And Cato-
BAT BOY: And Edgar Allen Poe'em
ALL: Gonna Jean Cocteau'em
BAT BOY: And Jacques Cousteau'em
ALL: Fellini-
BAT BOY: Houdini-
ALL: And Michaelangelo'em
BAT BOY: Gonna Jackie O'em
ALL: Marilyn Monroe'em
BAT BOY: Botticelli-
ALL: Machiavelli-
BAT BOY: Larry, Curly and Moe'em
And whaddaya know, once you-
ALL: Learn to crawl-ah
BAT BOY: You suddenly grow to be-
ALL: Ten feel tall-ah
BAT BOY: So buddy I'm going to-
ALL:-show 'em all a thing or two.
BAT BOY: Or two! Or two!
ALL: Show 'em a thing or two!
COMFORT AND JOY
DR.PARKER: You little creep, you're gonna pay.
I won't be shoved out of the way! Oh no-
VOICES IN HIS HEAD: Oh no!
DR.PARKER: Oh no-
VOICES IN HIS HEAD: Oh no!
DR.PARKER: And I could make a solid case
For smashing in your filthy face.
VOICES IN HIS HEAD: Kill him!
DR.PARKER: Shut up!
VOICES IN HIS HEAD: Kill him!
DR.PARKER: Shut up! I've got a spade and a burlap sack!
VOICES IN HIS HEAD: Kill him now!
DR.PARKER: And there's a hole in the yard out back!
VOICES IN HIS HEAD: Kill him now!
DR.PARKER: So I've got one thing to do before you die!
VOICES IN HIS HEAD: Now! Now!
DR.PARKER: WAIT!
She will see what you are,
I will win back my bride
She herself will decide
To get rid of the boy!
She'll admit she was wrong,
She'll return before long
She'll be singing a song
Full of comfort and joy.
VOICES: Comfort and joy- Comfort and joy!
DR.PARKER: Comfort and joy!
VOICES: Comfort and joy- Comfort and joy!
Kill the Bat Boy- Kill the Bat Boy!
MEREDITH: Oh, Honey, I apologize: You've really opened up my eyes.
SHELLEY: No way!
MEREDITH: Yes way!
SHELLEY: No way!
MEREDITH: Yes way! I'm laying out your Sunday best
Now brush your teeth and get some rest. All right?
SHELLEY: No way?
MEREDITH: All right!
SHELLEY? All right!
MEREDITH: Now when they see him they'll make a fuss.
SHELLEY: Is that true?
MEREDITH: We gotta smile like we just don't care!
SHELLEY: That's not fair!
MEREDITH: They put their pants on the same as us!
SHELLEY: Yes they do...
MEREDITH: So just imagine them in their underwear!
SHELLEY: And then this time I swear...
BOTH: He will show that he's not
What they're terrified of.
He will show them a love
They can never destroy!
If we prove that they're wrong
They'll come round before long
And we'll all sing a song
Full of comfort and joy!
CHORUS: Comfort and joy! Yeah! Comfort and joy!
MEREDITH AND SHELLEY: Comfort and Joy!
CHORUS: Comfort and Joy! Comfort and Joy!
DR.PARKER: Stop the Bat Boy!
(Town enters with hubbub)
SHERIFF: Settle down, people! We want to make sure the revival goes off without a hitch, so let's go over the schedule.
Listen up: From nine to twelve he does the healing...
NED: Sheriff...
MAGGIE: You hush up!
SHERIFF: At noon he'll bless the fields and plows...
MR.DILLON: Tractors too?
MAGGIE: Hush up!
SHERIFF: Then lunch is from one thirty-
NED: Sheriff, what about my Gertie!
MAGGIE: Hush!
SHERIFF: Well as it seems that time allows, three to ten:
The Blessing Of The Cows!
ALL: Yes! The Blessing Of The Cows!
Boy, that preachers a pro!
Gives a heckuva show!
LORRAINE: Just like Seigfried and Roy!
ALL: He'll bring comfort and joy!
So if nothing goes wrong,
Yes, if nothing goes wrong,
Lord, if nothing goes wrong,
We'll have comfort and...
Comfort and Joy!
Comfort and Joy!
Lord, we need some comfort and joy!
Any means you'd care to employ,
Won't you send us comfort and joy!
BAT BOY: Dear God: I'm still not sure how people pray.
Or what one does with one's hands. But please, my thirst grows every day. I feel it burn in my glands.
Please won't you change the way I am, or prove I'm human underneath.
Or if you just don't give a damn-
(points to fangs) You could at leatht get rid of theethe!
If I can't prove them wrong, show me where I belong, for a hunger so strong kills all comfort and joy.
If you'd make me complete. I'll avoid all red meat,
I'll eat nothing but soy to have comfort and joy...
DR.PARKER: By next week you'll be gone, six feet under my lawn. I'll have nobody toy with my comfort and joy...
MEREDITH/SHELLEY: He will come out a champ.
It's just like summer camp. They'll get used to the boy,
He'll bring comfort and joy...
TOWNSFOLK: Lord, please give us your word.
Cure the plague on the herd.
We don't mean to annoy but send comfort and joy...
BAT BOY: Comfort and joy! Comfort and joy!
DR.PARKER: Stop the Bat Boy! Stop the Bat Boy!
ALL: Comfort and joy! Comfort and JOY!
(Lights up on Hospital room)
RUTHIE: Dr.Parker, what are you doing here?
DR.PARKER: Don't worry, Ruthie. The Bat Boy will pay for what he's done to you. We're all going to miss you very much.
(Dr.Parker injects Ruthie and she dies.)
ALL: AAHHHHH!
A JOYFUL NOISE
REV.HIGHTOWER: Oh the sheep has returned to the fold, and the prodigal son has come in from the cold! So like the
prophets were told in the days of old- Make a joyful noise my soul! CHOIR: (mumbly) Make a joyful noise my soul...
REV.HIGHTOWER: Oh, the lion will lie down with the lamb, and the sinner will walk hand in hand with Abraham.
And he will cry to the sky, Jesus here I am! Make a joyful noise my soul! - - - Hello? CHOIR:...ful noise,
my soul... REV.HIGHTOWER and CHOIR: Make some noise! Make some noise! Make some noise! My soul is whole! Sing
it loud! Sing it proud! Sing it strong, all night long! Make a joyful noise- a joyful noise my soul! REV.HIGHTOWER:
Now, I know there's somebody out there. Someone who needs healing. I can feel your distress! You've got a sin... within. Step
forward! Let the holy ghost heal you! He's putting a fire under your seat now. No fear. Who wants the healing? BAT
BOY: I want to be healed! ALL: (hub bub) REV.HIGHTOWER: Sweet wounded Jesus.
LET ME WALK AMONG YOU/JOYFUL REPRISE
BAT BOY: I know you hate me. But if you could only see me the way I see all of you... Look at all your faces. Children,
husbands, wives. God, you're all so beautiful. I envy you your lives. Going to work, building your schools, throwing
a football or swimming in pools. Out in the sun, living by rules, I could learn how if you'd teach me the tools...
I know I'm strange, so help me change, please. Let me walk among you. Let me show my face. I could learn
to live with you, I can earn my place. I will move a mountain; your wish is my command. And some day you may want
to shake my hand. I will paint your houses. I'll milk your cows at dawn. I will do your laundry and I will mow
your lawn. Let me file your taxes. I am a CPA! And maybe then you'll shake my hand someday. I can grow a champion
rose, or teach a yoga class. I myself designed these clothes. I can do my part. Must I die then with my nose still
pressed against the glass? But if you'd shake my hand, well, thats a start. Yes, thats a start. Look in your heart!
And let me join your carpool- No! Let me drive the car! Let me throw a barbeque or join you at the bar. Come
and watch the ballgame, I'll bake a pecan pie! And I will shake your hand when you drop by. Oh, bring me to your churches
and met me look inside, Bring me to your weddings and let me kiss the bride! Thank you all for listening... thats...
all I had to say. But please will someone shake my hand? Won't somebody take my hand? Let just one person
shake my hand!
ALL: Okay BAT BOY: Okay? ALL: Okay! BAT BOY: Okay? ALL: Okay! BAT BOY: Okay? ALL: OKAY! Praise
God, the sheep has returned to the fold. And the prodigal son has come in from the cold! BAT BOY: So like
the prophets were told ALL: In the days of old! Make a joyful noise, my soul! Make a joyful noise, my soul!
BAT BOY AND ALL: Make some noise! (Make some noise!) Make some noise! (Make some noise!) Hallelujah-
my soul is whole! Sing it loud! (Sing it proud) Sing it strong- all night long! ALL: Make a joyful noise-
a joyful noise my soul! A joyful noise my soul! A joyful noise my soul! A joyful noise- my soul! AMEN!
THREE BEDROOM HOUSE
MEREDITH: Out! Out! Out! Time to get out! SHELLEY: Out? MEREDITH: Out! Gotta just rip out this page, bend the
bars of this cage and run free! SHELLEY: Free? MEREDITH: Free! No one but Edgar, you and me! Gotta go find him
and move on- BOTH: And be gone before the dawn! MEREDITH: Gotta get checkbooks, SHELLEY: Checkbooks, MEREDITH:
Car keys, SHELLEY: Car keys, MEREDITH: Passports, SHELLEY: Passports, MEREDITH: Then goodbye! SHELLEY:
Toothbrush, MEREDITH: Toothbrush, SHELLEY: Blankets, MEREDITH: Blankets, SHELLEY: Daddy? MEREDITH: No.
SHELLEY: Why? MEREDITH: Shelley, listen to me. What do you do when you blow out a tire? SHELLEY: Tire?
MEREDITH: Trash it! Some holes you'll never patch. SHELLEY: You'll never patch? MEREDITH: And who do you save
when your house is on fire? SHELLEY: Fire? MEREDITH: Don't bring the guy who lit the match! SHELLEY: Who lit the
match! MEREDITH: So we'll get a post office box, And we're gonna change all the locks, And we're gonna stay
with my cousins a while. Then we'll get a three bedroom house with a white picket fence and a gun and a lawyer, so
smile! Gonna get a homeowner's loan; SHELLEY: Could... MEREDITH: Gonna get an unlisted phone; SHELLEY:
Good! MEREDITH: Gonna get away from this town gone insane! SHELLEY: Kinda thought they would... MEREDITH: Then
we'll get a three bedroom house SHELLEY: A beautiful three bedroom house MEREDITH: Affordable BOTH: Three bedroom
house MEREDITH: With a great big pit bull on a chain! SHELLEY: Okay... Okay, Okay, Okay, Okay Right! Right!
Right! Mother, you're right! MEREDITH: Right? SHELLEY: Right! Still kinda sad that my dad lost what marbles he had
but we're free! MEREDITH: Free! SHELLEY: Free! I'll get a brand new fake I.D! MEREDITH: And if we lack for
anything I can hock this stupid ring! BOTH: And we'll get a post office box And we'll get a front gate that locks!
SHELLEY: And we'll get away from those ignorant pigs! BOTH: And we'll get a three bedroom house! MEREDITH: A livable
three bedroom house SHELLEY: A lovable BOTH: Three bedroom house MEREDITH: And some plastic surgery and wigs!
SHELLEY: For who? MEREDITH: For all of us... SHELLEY: Right... BOTH: And Edgar will soon have SHELLEY:
A garden to walk in MEREDITH: His own driver's license SHELLEY: A car- NO! A van! BOTH: And Edgar will soon have
SHELLEY: A ballroom to dance in MEREDITH: A good dental plan! SHELLEY: Cause Edgar will soon have a home...
MEREDITH: Yes, Edgar will soon have a home... BOTH: A heck of a home! And we'll get a post office box And
we'll get a front gate that locks MEREDITH: And big electrified fence all around! SHELLEY: Whoa! MEREDITH:
And we'll get a three bedroom house- SHELLEY: Or even a two bedroom house- MEREDITH: No, honey a three bedroom house-
SHELLEY: Mom... do you think Edgar would marry me? (Pause) MEREDITH: No, honey a three bedroom house,
A three bedroom house In a concrete shelter ten feet underground! SHELLEY: Mom! I want to marry Edgar! I'm
in love with him! MEREDITH: No, Shelley. SHELLEY: What? MEREDITH: You're not in love with Edgar! SHELLEY:
Yes, I am, Mom. I love him so much. And I want to be with him forever- MEREDITH: No, Shelley! It's hideous! It's not right!
SHELLEY: You're just like the rest of them! MEREDITH: You don't understand- Shelley! NO! What about the three
bedroom house? The three bedroom house! Who do you save when your house is on fire... Your House Is On Fire...
Your House Is On Fire!
CHILDREN, CHILDREN
PAN: Children, welcome home To where we all began. Alone and face to face Let us erase the fall of man:
Let the frogs pause in their song, Let the crickets hold their breath, Let the trees stand still as death
And tell the mosquitoes not to bite. Now we've been hoping for so long, So fill the sky with fireflies. So
they can see into each other's eyes And then they'll get it right... Oh, Children, Children don't be scared!
The moon is up and we're all prepared! Children, take a look around- We're on sacred ground! And what
we thought we lost at last is found. Now let the turtle and the dove ANIMALS: Ooh, sha la la!
PAN: Let the lion and the lamb ANIMALS: Ooh, sha la la! Oooh, Aaah! PAN: Let the owl and wolf and
ram embrace ALL: Across the countryside! PAN: Fur and feathers making love ANIMALS: Sha la la!
PAN: Paws and claws and jaws and beaks. ALL: Let the song go on for weeks and weeks To bless this boy
and bless this bride! Oh, Children, Children Don't be scared! The moon is up and we're all prepared! Children,
take a look around, hear that joyful song! For what we thought was lost at last is found. Sha la la la la la! The
Earth's asleep, time to wake it. If you have clothing, forsake it. We want you breathless and naked. Choose
your mate; And then let's see what we create! HEY! (Dance break with animal noises) PAN: Draw near,
my dearly beloved, No preist, No church- but what of it? Take root, take flight, I command it! Here we stand-
ALL: Here we stand! PAN: So no more stalling- take her hand! Oh, Children, Children ALL: Children! PAN:
Don't be scared. ALL: Don't be scared! PAN: The moon is up and ALL: -We're all prepared! Children, take
a look around PAN: We're on sacred ground, and hear that joyful sound! For what we thought was, ALL: What
we thought was lost at last is found! Found! Found! FOUND! ALL: HEY!
INSIDE YOUR HEART
SHELLEY: It's okay. I'm still here. Your secrets out, but don't fear. 'Cause I don't care what people say. Once
I thought you were weird; But soon my doubts disappeared. I think you're normaller than they. Now you're scared;
you're in need. Clearly someone has to bleed. I'll repay all you gave- I will give you what you crave. Let me
prove I love you; let me become part of you. I see no better way to start! Now I can live inside your heart.
BAT BOY: You don't know what you're saying- SHELLEY: Yes I do- BAT BOY: Go on, go home, forget me- SHELLEY:
It's for you- BAT BOY: I'll hurt you, I'm not playing- Please don't! SHELLEY: No, I knew they when I- BOTH: Let
me- BAT BOY: No! SHELLEY: I want to- BOTH: Please- SHELLEY: Yes! BAT BOY: No! It's too bizarre! BOTH:
Just- BAT BOY: Go! SHELLEY: I'm not afraid! It's no disease, it's who you are! BAT BOY: It murders
everything I touch. A screaming fire will fill you. You'll beg me please to kill you- I could not let you be my
crutch! Oh, God, I feel my hunger grow- Go! Go on, go home, forget me... SHELLEY: No. Such a lovely boy...
look at what you've done to me, Woke me up and set me free, so look at me. Such a lovely boy... this way you'll be
mine at last. And I'll be fine: I heal real fast. So look at me... Look at me! BAT BOY: You don't know what
you're saying- SHELLEY: Shut up, that's it, I'm staying! BOTH: I will shield you from harm Come spend
your life on my arm. I see no better way to start. Let me prove I love you; Let me become part of you. Now
we shall never be apart. I'll always live inside your heart!
APOLOGY TO A COW
BAT BOY: I'm sorry, friend, I have to. I know, I know, it's rude I shouldn't work my problems out with food. I'm
sorry pal, I've got to. It's either me or you. Fight or be beaten! Eat or be eaten! Look what it makes me do. It's
stronger than it was and this is what the bat child does. Deep in the cave under miles of stone, I knew no word for
sad. Singing to echoes and all alone, needed no mom or dad. I'd never dreamed of the world above; I'd never seen
the sky. And yet I was content; I never wondered why. I never knew such a word as rage. I learned that from you.
You locked your boy up inside a cage, and all the while you knew. Why bother giving me dad's old shirt, why even intervene?
Why bother washing off all the dirt, if I am still unclean? You said you'd never hurt me, mom, whatever might occur!
So: How could you dare, mom, Make me "aware", mom, Teach me to care, mom, and then deny me her!
We had a chance at happiness, blissfully unaware... We had a love we thought you'd bless, we didn't have a prayer.
'Cause you had to come destroy our love Like everything else I had! Yet still I am content and I am not the least
bit mad... No, I'm not here to harm you; I only want to KILL! You shall have your monster- I shall drink my fill!
At last I am embracing my bloody destiny! Dear mom and dad, this face will be The last thing that you ever see!
Revenge will be a home for me For me For me For ME!
FINALE: I Imagine You're Upset/I Am Not A Boy
TOWNSFOLK: Adlibs and gestures. "Kill the freak!" BAT BOY: How could you tell me I was human, when you
knew me to be a beast? MEREDITH: Look inside yourself, Edgar. You'll see a soul. Does a beast have a soul? BAT
BOY: A soul? Is that what you call it, that empty pit, that wound where my heart should be? You dug this hole in me
bit by bit, nothing is left of me! Give me one reason why I should live. See, you have no reply. The world is
man or beast, but I am both or neither. So goodbye! SHERIFF: I'm sorry, Edgar, really am. Sorry to hear your
life's a sham. Still, it doesn't have to end this way! So put these on and don't be cute. A van's en route from
the institute. He gets in it, no one dies today. MOB: Sheriff, you idiot, why do you pity it? Look at the
blood on him- why don't you kill him! What kinda man are you? What are you gonna do? We oughtta kill you too!
Why don't you kill him! GET HIM! GET HIM! BAT BOY: Don't deny the obvious- such an ugly boy. Everywhere
you put me, look what I destroy! MOB: Shoot him! Stop him! Jesus, Sheriff! Shoot him! Kill him! Kill him! Do
it! BAT BOY: Not strung up by farmers or caged in by police. If you're not a coward, give me peace. MOB:
Parker, you idiot, why do you pity it? Look at the blood on him- God, you're both evil! What kinda man are you? What
are you gonna do? Parker, he wants you to! Kill him or we will! BAT BOY: Coward. DR. PARKER: I'm
sorry. BAT BOY: You know... One thing alone saved me from despair, back in my feral stage. SHELLEY:
Edgar... BAT BOY: Once in a while she would meet my stare. Then I'd forget the cage. MEREDITH: Edgar,
don't! BAT BOY: But surely her smile wasn't meant for me. SHELLEY: Edgar no! BAT BOY: Easier to
dismiss. But, tonight she kissed me, here. (General gasp) BAT BOY: Tonight she gave me this. (He takes out
Shelley's handkerchief) I smell her perfume and her sweat... DR. PARKER: Oh my God... TOWNFOLK: Jesus!
BAT BOY: Look what a gift she gave me- DR. PARKER: Is it true? BAT BOY: Almost enough to save me. SHELLEY:
Yes! BAT BOY: And I imagine you're upset... DR. PARKER: Oh my God! BAT BOY: But I would kill for her again!
MOB: Stop him! Kill him! BAT BOY: And do you know what she did then? MOB: Stop! BAT BOY: She offered
me her vein. MOB: No! BAT BOY: She offered me her blood! MOB: God! BAT BOY: She offered me everything!
(Dr. Parker puts a knife to Bat Boy's throat. Meredith stops him.) DR.PARKER: Meredith, I'm sorry. All of this
is me. MEREDITH: Thomas, please. DR.PARKER: (overlapping) I can't bear to look at him. You are all I see. His
eyes, Meredith, he has your eyes. It hurts too much to put behind me... the way I lost you. MEREDITH: (overlapping)
Thomas, don't. Please, oh Thomas, don't deny the obvious, leave the past behind. We can start again, love. We have both been
blind. CROWD: Parker, damn you... Parker, you do it now... MEREDITH: Thomas, I forgive you. I know, my love,
I know. DR.PARKER: And every day his eyes remind me. CROWD: Now! Now! Now! MEREDITH: Thomas, come here.
Thomas, let him go! DR.PARKER: Edgar! Are you hungry? (Bat Boy, wounded, falls to Shelley's arms) SHELLEY:
Oh, Edgar! My dear, sweet boy... BAT BOY: I am not a boy. I am an animal. (He dies)
HOLD ME, BAT BOY (Reprise)
SHELLEY: In a cave many miles to the south Lived a boy born with fangs in his mouth. He never knew what he was worth.
I could not stop his fall. But in his precious hours on Earth, he taught us all. MAGGIE: Love your neighbor,
RICK: Forgive, INSTITUTE MAN: Keep your vows. BUD AND NED: And a mountain's no place to raise cows.
SHERIFF: Revenge is something God forbids, BUD: To scapegoat folk's is wrong, MRS.TAYLOR'S KIDS: And don't kill
Mrs.Taylor's kids. MEREDITH: Let go the fears to which you cling, ADD DR.PARKER: And through your tears you'll
hear him sing, ADD SHELLEY: Lift up your ears and join his song! ADD TOWNFOLK: And join his song! And join his
song! And join his song! ALL: Aaaaah! Hold your Bat Boy, Touch your Bat Boy No more need to hide! Know
your Bat Boy, Love your Bat Boy Don't deny your beast inside! Ah, ah- Aaaaaa! Aaaaa! Aaaaaaaaaaah!
|